difficulties
What am I doing wrong if I’m not feeling relaxed? What other options can I consider if I am unable to sit still? When can I fit this routine in my already-packed calendar?
with strong determination
Q: Am I doing it right? I can’t seem to empty my mind
A: It’s normal to have thoughts. It is impossible to empty the mind, just like it is impossible not to breathe. Both are unachievable objectives.
Whenever you realise that you have been distracted, it’s OK. Gently guide your attention back to your exercise. Self-kindness is part of the lesson.
Q: What am I doing wrong with my mindfulness effort? I don’t seem to be feeling relaxed.
A: Avoid having expectations like being more relaxed. Keep practising to cultivate the conditions that support your body’s natural ability to rest and heal. Continue to be curious about your own direct experience, which can include restlessness and boredom.
Seek a teacher for further guidance.
Q: What other mindfulness techniques can I do if I cannot sit still for short periods of time?
A: Mindfulness is a mental state and habit – to pay attention to the present moment. If you feel uncomfortable being still, are you able to observe the source of agitation? Is it challenging to not move your limbs? Or is it the “loudness” of your thoughts?
However, if the silence feels deafening to you, then try guided instructions or playing some pleasant background sounds or music.
If you are kinaesthetically-inclined, consider movement-based approaches such as Qigong or mindful walking. Focus on actual sensations of touch as you take each stride or move.
Seek a teacher for recommendations.
Q: I keep feeling drowsy and falling asleep? What am I doing wrong?
A: Feeling drowsy or dozing off is normal. You are either relaxed or sleep-deprived. Splash some water on your face, keep your eyes open, or do some stretching before reverting back to the exercises. If that doesn’t help, get some much-needed sleep first.
Q: I experienced a pleasant moment during my first practice. How do I get it again?
A: Simply take in the experience as it is, pleasant or unpleasant. Mindfulness is about observing what is truly happening, not what you expect it to be. If we experience calm and clarity, that is the truth at this moment. During another practice, we may experience itchiness or discomfort. That is the reality at that point in time.
Q: I can’t complete the duration I have set for my practice. What else can I do?
A: Revert back to basics. Just be physically still. Rest in this stillness for as long as you feel like it. Acknowledge that this is as far as you can go for some days.
Stilling the body supports the settling of your autonomic nervous system. When you feel stable and centred enough, set and start your timer again.
If it still feels challenging, and you don’t cross the finish line uninterrupted, it is OK. Repeat, attempt at another time, or explore another technique.
Q: How do I add mindfulness into my life? My calendar is already packed.
A: You are doing this for your sanity. Packing your day to the brim may seem busy, but you’ll have to ask yourself if you are OK.
Simply disconnect and practice, even for a brief few minutes. Find a place or time, where or when you will be undisturbed. It is easier to learn to sail a boat in calm waters, than in a storm.
Q: My breath shortens as I start to observe it. Do I attempt to breathe “normally”?
A: When shining the light of attention on the breath, some students report getting a sense of panic. Others realised that their breaths are shallow and start to be concerned.
Allow your breath to be as it is. It does not require any intervention or correction. Try not to change anything. Instead, the approach is to just sit back and observe. If it is short, allow it to be short. When you noticed it is full, simply note that your breath is full right now.
Q: What do I do when I feel discomfort like pins and needles, pain, body aches or itches?
A: If you are already feeling composed, are you able to remain still and just notice? Be curious about those bodily discomfort. Does it feel warm or cool? Is there throbbing or vibrations? Where are the edges of the unpleasant sensation?
If the discomfort is distracting, practice kindness with yourself. Seek relieve by adjusting or changing your posture. Scratch the itch and calmly return to practice.
Ask a teacher to help with optimising your posture for comfort.
Q: I sometimes feel overwhelmed by a panic thought or powerful emotion when I sit with myself. What should I do?
A: If a thought or emotion feels overwhelming, direct your attention outwards instead. E.g. Listen to unique sounds around you, or with your eyes opened, notice objects in your field of vision.
Seek a teacher for suitable alternative techniques.
Q: Why is mindfulness not working for me?
A: Suspend any expectations of benefits and just practice. The training itself can appear boring and uneventful, very much like spending an hour at the gym lifting weights. But when circumstances require you to do some mental heavy lifting, it will seem effortless.
When I was starting out learning to meditate hoping to find peace and serenity, nothing happened. When I joined a group and just practised with an open mind, I encountered unexpected benefits.
Q: Why do tears flow when I meditate?
A: During our mindfulness practice, our awareness is typically heightened. Whether you were yawning, feeling sad or compassionate, or your body was simply seeking balance, can you be curious about the tears brimming in your eyes or rolling down your cheeks?
Notice tears, itch, or any bodily sensations simply as they are. They can even be the object of observation. Notice when your mind comes up with stories or explanations, and return your focus back to the practice.
don’t see your question here?
determinednow